'Not a buzz word,' say parents of Ontario paramedic who struggled with PTSD and died

WARNING: This story contains distressing details.

Neil Harvey's story is a tragic one.

The 39-year-old Lambton County paramedic struggled with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and according to his parents routinely self-medicated with cocaine. Neil had been working on beating his addiction, but faltered in December of 2021 and died of an overdose because the drugs he took were laced with fentanyl.

Neil died alone in a parking lot. His death was prosecuted and a London man is currently serving a three-year prison sentence for trafficking fentanyl.

Now Janice and Steve Harvey are sharing their son's story, in the hopes it will help other first responders living with PTSD. This weekend, the couple is hosting a hike — a fundraiser to help cover the costs of training therapy dogs for other first responders living with PTSD.

Just six weeks before his death, Neil had begun training with a new therapy dog, a black German shepherd puppy named Nash. "He and Nash had trained six or seven times and they were just a great pairing," said Stephen.

Neil began his career at age 18 as a volunteer firefighter in Ilderton, Ont., — he even carried a pager as a Grade 13 student in high school. Neil had been working as a paramedic with Lambton Emergency Medical Services (EMS) for a decade when he was diagnosed with PTSD in May 2020. He had taken a leave from his job and was seeing two counselors, one assigned to him through the Workplace Safety and Insurance Board (WSIB), the other through the Canadian Mental Health Association.

On the one-year anniversary of his diagnosis, Neil wrote a Facebook post about living with PTSD.

"This condition and its manifestations have cost me my marriage, friends, dignity and a myriad of other things. Fortunately, unlike a lot of other brother and sisters in the emergency services, who are and continue to suffer in silence, it didn't cost me my life," wrote Neil just seven months before his death.

"Take care of each other," Neil advised his readers. "Support each other and have each other's back. No one is immune."

"As a young firefighter, one of the first calls he went to was a T-bone accident just outside of Ilderton and he had an elderly lady die in his arms while he was working on her as an 18 year old," said Stephen.

"We don't recognize what firefighters and paramedics and police officers and everyone who works in frontline services go through," he said. "We just assume that everything's fine."

"He had a call from a family where they'd come home and the father was hanging from the chandelier in the foyer and Neil had to cut him down," said Neil's mom, Janice.

Over time, those experiences and images were difficult for her son to manage, she said. "For the longest time he didn't say anything."

"There is an assumption — I know there was on my part anyway — that these [first responder] services have supports built in for these kinds of events, and they do not. Many of them do not."

Lambton EMS is working to beef-up training and supports for its 160 staff members, said manager Stephen Turner.

In addition to Neil's death, the service lost two other members late last year, though Turner wouldn't elaborate on how they died.

"It's been a really tough time for our service and a lot of friends and a lot of companionship has been lost in a short period of time," he said.

Turner said he also wants to extend the service's mental health supports to family members of paramedics. "It's really important that first responders have someone to turn to, regardless of who it is, to help them get through a difficult time," he said.

"If somebody is struggling, somebody should be able to recognize the signs, be able to help steer somebody toward resources."

It's one of the reasons the Harveys are raising awareness of PTSD this weekend with the hike. "It's not just a buzz word," said Janice. "My biggest fear is that people will think, 'Oh, now it's this, now it's that.' No, this is real."

"It's not a catch phrase," Stephen echoed. "It's a debilitating condition that needs people's understanding."

Watch as Stephen Harvey tells his son's story:

Host, London Morning

Rebecca Zandbergen is from Ottawa and has worked for CBC Radio across the country for more than 20 years, including stops in Iqaluit, Halifax, Windsor and Kelowna. Contact Rebecca at [email protected] or follow @rebeccazandberg on Twitter.